But I'll Do Anything To Get Out Of It!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I resolute

My New Years Resolutions:

1) I will work to become a fit person through healthier eating habits and regular exercise. HOWEVER, I will not obsess about it realizing that I have eyes that work, 2 ears, a nose and a nice set of lips. My complexion is good and I have great hair. My body could be much worse-- so I will continue to take care of the one that I have and work on judging myself on other things besides my looks.

2) I will be working to live a little more simple this year -- and get rid of some of this unnecessary junk. I have always gotten a thrill out of organization, and clutter has always gotten me down. Now I just need to get off my butt and get things the way I want them around here.

3) Meanwhile, I will not forget about the little people in this house that don't care if the beds are made or the laundry is done. I owe them my time and attention!

4) I won't waste my time with negative people. Instead, I will spend my time with the people that I enjoy and make me feel good.

5) I will try not to freak about the economy. I will use this time as an opportunity to become more efficient and resourceful. Things may get a little tough for a bit, but it wouldn't be a bad thing to learn to be a little less indulgent. I'm hoping when things get better, my news ways will stick!

To a great 2009! Cheers!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

dear santa...

Dear Santa,

Here is my wish list this year:

1)Health and safety for all of my family members and friends throughout the holidays and beyond.

2)Respect, love and appreciation from and for my husband.

3)Confidence and courage for my daughters in all of the new experiences they encounter.

4)Patience, wisdom and strength as a mother.

5)Forgiveness in my heart for those who I have begrudged and tolerance of those who continue to show disrespect.

6)Help in the realization of what it is I am suppose to be "when I grow up."

7)Willpower: the strength to do my best at eating right and the energy to continue exercising regularly.

Thanks, Santa, Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 5, 2008


Today is going to be a crazy day so I was concerned where I would fit in my exercise. I have a Christmas party to go to with my three year old today and tonight we are taking my 6 year old out for dinner for her birthday. There was no time to get to the gym and I just wasn't up for an exercise video. However, since both of these events will have food as a component (and probably not all of it very good for me) --I knew I shouldn't skip a workout.

So I improvised...this morning I decided to crank up the music and my three year old and I had a little dance party for 30 minutes. Since all of the rooms on my first floor open up to each other, as a part of our activity we ended up running around the house's circle about a hundred times to the music. She had a blast -- even the dog got involved and now I can go on with my day without the guilt I feel when I don't get up and do something. My heart rate monitor told me that I burned 500 calories and maybe my little one will actually take a nap!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

a little restraint...

Last night, I had a meeting up at church. We always have snacks at our meetings and when we adjourn, we gather around the food table and snack together. Social eating has always been a weakness for me. I talk, and shovel things in my mouth that I don't even realize that I'm eating. Last night there was cheese curls, sun chips, chocolate chip cookies and peanut m&ms for goodness sake. I didn't touch a thing. The smells tried to reel me in -- but I declined. I felt really good about it when I got home. And I actually felt good going to bed on an empty stomach -- it's been a while since I've felt that rumble in the tummy feeling. I need to feel it more often!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Friday, November 28, 2008

back on the wagon...

Now that the wonderful day of food and family has passed -- it's time to get motivated again ( I kind of fell off the weight loss wagon around mid-October when Halloween candy and treats entered our home.) I have no resistance to sweets -- especially chocolate! It's time to jump back on -- because I'm feeling terrible and I don't want to feel like a Roley-poly by Christmas time. So to give myself a little accountability, I am going to follow along with a bunch of gals (and one guy) who are trying to accomplish the same thing as I am. We'll see how I do....

Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans

Friday, November 21, 2008

he answers...

The more I pray, the less I believe in coincidences.

Friday, November 14, 2008

small revelation

It's amazing what a few vacuum lines can do for the look and feel of the place....

Monday, November 10, 2008

lazy day

For as long as I can remember, Mondays in my house have been labeled "Lazy Days." They are the one day of the week that I try not to schedule anything that involves leaving the house (except of course to transport my 5 year old to school and back.)

Despite the label of this day -- I probably get more done today than any other day. I do numerous loads of laundry, pay bills, straighten the house, make the grocery list, iron school shirts for the week, try to plan daily meals, do preparations for my CRHP meeting and get my weekly calendar in order. But I do ALL of these things while Still. In. My. Jammies -- for the entire day. I suppose this is where the name comes from. Jammies = Lazy. I think not! For without this day, I would be lost. Without this day -- the rest of the week would turn out very differently. So Hooray for Monday! Hooray for Lazy Day!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

to the fullest...

Lately I have been trying to surround myself with things that I truly love and I am really focusing on doing things that make me happy. Life is short -- I really want to enjoy mine.

I am working on making time for the things that I love like heading up to bed early to dive into a couple of chapters of a good book or getting the kids' bedtime routine done a little early in order to have time to snuggle in between my two girls and watch a little TV. I'm trying to only commit to social events that I actually WANT to go to. I am wearing the clothes that make me comfortable in my own skin, stocking the fridge with food that I enjoy eating (while trying to keep it healthy), choosing workouts that I don't hate (spinning right now) because when I get lazy I don't feel good about myself and keeping the house picked up so that I don't feel swallowed up by my surroundings.

Finally, I try to spend time praying everyday and making sure that God knows how grateful I am to be able to do all of these things I love.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

wordless wednesday

This IS "3 years old" for my daughter Peyton...and that's all I have to say about that!

where does all my time go?

How does all my time slip away before I get a chance to tackle the things I need to do? It's like a time warp sucks away the hours before I get a chance to use them.

I had full intention on cleaning my house top to bottom before I had people over for a couple of gatherings this week. I had meant to plan my meals for the week so that when 5 o'clock comes everyday I am not clueless on what to do for dinner. I had been meaning to get my calendar organized for all the appointments I have, school activities and birthday parties. I planned to get in some kind of exercise every single day. I had expected to start my Christmas shopping so that it doesn't all load me down at the last minute.

But, I don't know where the time has gone -- and I'm not sure what I did with it while it was here.

This week shopping will have to wait. 3 times at the gym will have to do. I will have to rely on my chaotic brain to get me where I need to be for a while longer. There will be impromptu dinners and I'll have to go with the "illusion" of clean for now(so don't look too closely). And I just have to learn that this is how it has to be sometimes.

There is always next week!

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Yesterday I took my first spinning class at this fantastic gym that I finally talked myself into splurging to join even though it cost too much for these tight times. My butt hurts so bad it feels like there is a giant bruise on my bottom the shape of a bike seat...yet I can't wait to go back and do it again. However, I'll have to wait until I can sit without wincing!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

every year I fall for fall

There is something about that cool, crisp autumn air that really gets me going.

Fall means visits to the pumpkin patch and daddy carving his masterpieces, raking leaves and jumping into the mounds, lugging up the "Halloween" boxes and draping our home with their contents. Fall means kids are back in school.

Fall means caramel apples, popcorn balls, and ANYTHING pumpkin-flavored. Unfortunately for me and my waistline, Fall also means the desire to eat more hearty meals like thick soups and chilies. I love how Fall allows for comfy sweatshirts, blue jeans and fuzzy socks. I spend the rest of the year yearning for the nights of cozy throw blankets on the sofa and bulky covers in bed.

It excites me to see neighborhoods dressed in spooky attire; ghosts, goblins, witches and bones. Houses, trees and bushes laced with creepy spiders and sheets of web. Dim or strobing lights beckoning to hundreds of costumed trick-or-treaters. And candy...candy everywhere...candy for weeks!

So Fall is my favorite. And it doesn't last long enough. And it's that small span of time between the monotony of long summer days and the craziness of "the holidays" and the brrr of winter. That small span of time that makes me stop for a moment and think about where I've been and where I'm going. I love Fall!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

what do you want?

In my MOPs meeting yesterday, we spoke about growth and how our lives have changed since we've become mothers. A question was thrown out to all us us asking us to name an adventure we hope to go on or try in the future. On the spot, I couldn't think of ONE thing. Is that sad or what?

The women sitting around the tables brought forth all kinds of activities that they yearn for:learning to snow ski, learning to play the guitar, sky diving, taking a trip to Rome, going on a Safari, training for a marathon, hiking the Grand Canyon. Some of these sounded good to me -- but none of them were mine. As I heard more and more ideas, I tried to come up with one of my own...still nothing. I couldn't think of anything major that I dreamed of, that I really had to have before life was over. This bothered me a little bit.

So, I went home and really thought about this. Of course, there are so many things that I had always wished for that have already come true -- a loving husband, healthy children, a great home. But there has to be more, there just has to be more to strive for. Not that what I have is not fulfilling, but shouldn't we always be striving to be a better mother, woman, christian, person? Something that pushes us to be more?

What is THAT for me? Taking an exotic cruise? Learning a new skill? Competing in the Olympics? Becoming a rock star? What?...I don't know yet, but I may really learn a thing or two about myself trying to figure it out.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


I've come to realize that my complete obsession with a perfectly clean house must have been due to lack of other important things to do. Now with transporting two kids to school, school meetings, weekly church meetings, ice skating lessons, soccer practices and games, staying in touch with friends and squeezing in quality family time, my house gets cleaned a lot less often and A LOT less thoroughly these days.

I've also re-realized something I once was fully aware of...that the more cluttered I let my house get, the more cluttered my head gets. It had been quite some time since I'd gotten to this point and I remember that a really messy house is bad for my inner peace! So I need to find a happy medium between a spotless home and a polluted mind. Where is the happy medium?

So that's my new project -- one room at a time, because that's all I can take on right now.

was lost, but now i'm found

In the not-so-distant past, I would visit this website on an almost daily basis and record my thoughts or goings-on. I used my blog as an outlet and it helped me clear my head and unburden my chest. Then I began to neglect this space of mine. I tried to blame the avoidance on being busy, which I guess what a touch of the problem, but my real reason for the lack of entries was self-esteem. As my readership increased so did my concern over whether what I wanted to write about was of any interest to the people visiting. I had lost sight of who this site is really for...me. And I missed it here. I missed the expression, I missed the brain-declutter, I missed my little spot on the web. There isn't much else that is JUST mine. So I'm taking it back. Getting back into writing for myself -- not for entertainment or readership -- just for me. But if you'll stay, I'd love to have you!

Friday, October 3, 2008

always a follower...

In my youth, I was not much of a leader...more of a follower. I looked to others for the cool things to do, places to go and items to wear. Although I was smart enough not to follow so-and-so "if they jumped off a bridge" so to speak, you didn't see me taking center stage to lead the group anywhere.

When I entered the workforce, it wasn't much different. I shied away from positions described for independent, self-starters. I felt I needed a little more support than that to dive into new challenges.

So my first leadership role ever was the one of motherhood (Does that count?) I had no choice...I had two little people that desperately needed my guidance. I also joined a mom's group outside of my church where I made some fantastic friends for myself and my kids. Eventually, the group needed some organizers to plan play dates and host night's out. I stepped up for this role and for the first time people were looking to to me to make decisions (besides my children). These decisions, have not been monumental by any means (choosing places and times for meetups), but it has been a chance to get my feet wet.

Now, after 35 years of life, I have taken a real leap toward leadership. Holding the position of Spiritual Director for my church group CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish) team implores me to lead a group of women in something MOST important -- a spiritual journey -- and I am beyond privileged.

Monday, September 29, 2008

divine weekend!

Over the weekend, I attended the retreat that my CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish) team has been preparing for 6 months. Leading up to the event, although I was excited, I also had a lot of anxiety about witnessing my faith story in front of unfamiliar women, leading my table in discussion about religious topics and leading others in prayer (something I had never done before). It turns out that my apprehension was unwarranted. The weekend was filled with comfort, peace and camaraderie.

It was a fantastic experience to to watch these new women come in and indulge in the same special events of the weekend that meant so much to me 6 months ago and actually see them grow spiritually.

My team did a wonderful job of getting these women to open up and encourage them to continue their spiritual journey by choosing to be a part of the next formation team that prepares the same retreat for a future group of women just like them. We were all thrilled to find out that the entire group accepted the challenge. I, however, was especially delighted because I have been chosen to lead this new group in the task (the leader of each group chooses a member to lead the next). I am honored and humbled by this opportunity. And although I am nervous about the challenges ahead, I am excited to continue the process and happy that this CRHP experience isn't ending for me.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Something happened over the weekend that I never thought possible. Something I never imagined could happen to me...

My husband threw me a surprise party and it worked! I did not suspect a thing. He plotted, planned and executed perfectly.

My birthday is this coming Wednesday and the day is jammed packed with activities that would not allow me to spend my normal Wednesday with my mom nor spend time with Brad and the kids in the evening. So I thought nothing of planning a casual birthday dinner at a restaurant up the street to celebrate.

I also had asked Brad not to get me anything this year -- I felt no need to spend the extra cash when there was nothing I really needed. So I was ecstatic (not suspicious) at the suggestion that he and the kids clean the entire house as a gift to me. They did this while I was out getting my hair did (my true present anyway...to myself). So due to the fresh highlights and skilled blow out by "my girl", even after a windy soccer game and a lax effort to get ready for dinner, I didn't actually look horrendous when I walked in my door to an unexpected kitchen full of people.

The funniest thing is meanwhile in the midst of his secret planning -- I was conjuring up my own birthday party at a bar for the following weekend with the same guest list. Boy, did I confuse some people!

It was a great party filled with the people I care about most. It warms my heart to know that Brad would go through all that trouble (because I am not easy to surprise) and that all of those people were there just for me. It has made turning the old 35 a lot more acceptable.

So kudos to Brad and thank you to everyone else!

That's A LOT of candles!

Monday, August 25, 2008

it's all about the kids...

Seems like lately, all things revolve around my kids. With Kindergarten starting, soccer coming to a head, ice skating continuing and Peyton's 1st day of preschool rapidly approaching, all time and thoughts go into what they are doing. If you'd like to see what they are doing, join us at My Ladybuggs. Hopefully when things start to settle in for them -- I can get back to normal...whatever that might be now!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

small victories

Something is happening with me. When I started this Weight Watchers thing, like every other diet I've been on, I treated it as just that...a diet. Something I would hurry up and try to do to lose weight so that I could go back to eating "normal." This mind set is the cause of all my past failures.

Yesterday, I wasn't eating very many of my points (which is really weird for me) because I was working on my very first scrapbook, which turns out to be very time-consuming. Anyway, because I had so many points remaining, I kind of pigged out a bit on the tacos/nachos that I made for dinner. Then, I felt awful about it. It's the 1st time I've been "overly full" in quite some time. So I ended up going for my second jog/walk of the day to make myself feel better. This is a victory for me.

Also, I started out, a couple of months ago, with a 30-minute walk every morning that I could. Now I jog fifteen minutes, walk fifteen minutes. I have worked up to this day by day. This may not sound like much of an accomplishment -- but for me it's huge -- I've never been a runner of any kind. This is a victory for me.

I am now 10 lbs down. I see it...I feel it...I like it! And I'm hoping it's only the beginning. I am finally feeling that, as long as I can falter once in a while...like all humans do, I could really do this. I could look at this as a "lifestyle" change instead of a temporary diet. This is a victory for me.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

on empty...

I have a million things rolling around in my head right now...but none of them are blog topics. Hopefully once school starts for my two, my mind will clear out a little and I can focus more on writing something worthwhile. Currently I am bogged down with all the things I need to do, all the things I need to buy and all the things I need to remember. And I can only write about that so many times. So pardon me while I sort things through....

Monday, August 11, 2008

mamma got a new pair of shoes...

...for Barrett. I finally found an appropriate pair of "school" shoes after much searching. One that will satisfy both the Catholic school system and my daughter. The boring all-brown appearance with "no-black marks" soles to please the school and the little flower on the side for a little frill to suit Barrett. They cost more than I usually spend on shoes for even myself...but for the sake of Kindergarten, you gotta do what you gotta do. Finally, I can move on to the next challenge!

Friday, August 8, 2008

things that make you go hmmmm...

No pounds lost this week...but it is NOW that I am starting to see slight changes in the mirror...hmmmm-- and I'm liking what I see.

The naughty, naughty weekend is approaching, and that is where I always do wrong. Hopefully keeping closer to home this time will be to my benefit. Keep me strong!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

kindergarten is bigger than I thought...

My 5 year old is about to began Kindergarten in a couple of weeks. Seems simple enough. She will be attending the Catholic grade school in our area. I had NO idea how much preparation this would entail. There are orientations for the parents, open houses for the kids, detailed school supply lists and strict uniform codes. I have so many things to check off the lists and my calendar is quickly filling. Who knew Kindergarten would be such an event?

The school supply search wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Her supply list called for the simplest of items, however with the extravagance available these days, finding a box of only 8 regular-sized crayons proved challenging. She also needed a plain, plastic, two-pocket folder...which was surprisingly hard to find in a sea of paper ones plastered with Hannah Montana and Camp Rock. And where do you find those roundish-triangular-rubbery pencil grip thingies?

School-shoe shopping has turned out be the most challenging thus far. I wonder if some stores just don't think 5 year olds wear shoes, because most of them seem to completely skip over my daughter's size. How can that be? And what exactly is an oxford or a brogue? Even if I'm able to find her size and figure out the proper style to be worn, I know this will not end the ordeal -- for I have a five-year old girl who's rarely worn footwear without a heel, some sparkle or some bows. The dull brown, black or navy leather shoe WILL NOT be to her liking. And she has to wear these everyday? This will not be good!

And there are just so many new things to think about -- tuition payments, meal card purchases, school parking assignments for arrival and dismissal, uniform regulations, soccer practices and "mid-day recreation duty" for me....whatever that means.

I knew Kindergarten would be a new and exciting adventure for my 5-year old...I just hadn't realized the rousing endeavor that I, myself, had to look forward to!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Monday, August 4, 2008

oh wise ones...

1.) Chores can be fun if you pretend you are Cinderella and your orders are from the "evil stepmother."

2.) Things are less scary if you cover your ears.

3.) If mommy says no...there is always hope with Grandma.

4.) Candy can solve almost any problem.

5.) Once you have kids, it's no longer your luxury to lick the spoon.

6.) It's amazing how much you can fit into 2 hours (when the kids are sleeping).

7.) You can make up a song about anything.

8.) Anything can substitute for a microphone.

9.) You can sit around all day in your pajamas, as long as you announce "It's Lazy Day!"

10.) Dressing up can be a good thing!

Friday, August 1, 2008

weekend weaknesses

I did myself a favor and changed my weigh in day to Friday. Stepping on the scale on a Monday morning after a weekend of mistakes was definitely hurting my loss. I work so hard throughout the week -- getting my exercise in and staying inside my allotted points, but then on the weekend I always seem to let go a bit. So I never get to see the real positive results of all my work.

Last Friday night, we had to attend Brad's work pool party. It was catered by KC Masterpiece and there was a frozen margarita machine...need I say more? Then we headed to the Lake, and although I try not to over-do it, I always seem to eat more there than at home. Maybe it's all the sun?

This weekend we are headed to the Lake again with some fun friends and their kids. Although I bring my whole wheat bread to substitute for morning doughnuts and I make sure to bring lots of low-calorie snacks...the Lake is the Lake. We are sure to take the kids up to "the Strip" for ski ball and bumper car fun, which will probably include a visit to GoDots, the best ice cream parlor ever! Now, I won't have the big honkin' cone I usually would have...but I won't suffer. Also, Saturday is my hubby's 35th birthday and I'm sure we will celebrate in some way, which usually involves cake.

So anyway...I weighed in today at 3 pounds lighter -- a total of 8.5 pounds lost. I guess that's not a bad record for a little less than a month. I vow now, to try my best, not to sabotage that loss by getting out of control over the next couple of days. Wish me luck!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

no baby fever!

I have 2 daughters. The youngest one recently turned three. Over the past month or so, for some reason, I have been questioned many, many times whether we will be extending our family any further (maybe because my youngest has reached a nice milestone age, or because I'm about to reach a not-so-nice one). A lot of..."Are you considering a third?", "When are you having another?", "Don't all these infants around give you baby fever?" No. Not. No.

I feel very done with the baby stage. I haven't the smallest desire to return to pregnancy, nursing, sleepless nights or checking for breathing. Is that so wrong? I did my time and I'm happy to move on. Now...if it was possible to pop one out at a ripe old age of 6 to 12 months...I'm quite certain I would reconsider, but since that's not happening, I feel my two are plenty. Don't get me wrong, I do love babies. I like to look at them, goo-goo-ga-ga at them, maybe hold them for a minute -- and return them to mommy.

I must state that if a #3 came along by accident...I would see it as God's plan and go with it, of course. Babies are a wonderful miracle. I'm just saying, it's not a part of MY plan. I prefer to now focus and be involved with the events to come with the two I have. The exciting endeavors that are Kindergarten for my oldest and the newness of preschool for my youngest AND the fact that I will obtain 3 mornings a week to do with what I wish...ALONE. I can't imagine the possibilities!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

what's on your nightstand?

5 minutes for books is hosting a new monthly carnival called What's On Your Nightstand?, where we have a chance to talk about what we are currently reading.

I am a few chapters away from finishing My Best Friend's Girl by Dororthy Koomson. It is a novel that focuses on the question "how for would you go for the best friend that broke your heart?" It has been a great read, and I can't wait to find out how it ends.

Next I will be diving into a memoir by Jen Lancaster for a Book Club I belong to. Reading up on Lancaster, I think she is going to prove to be very funny, and funny I like. The name of the book is...are you ready for this...Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a condescending, egomaniacal, self-centered smart-ass, or why you should never carry a Prada Bag to the unemployment office. A book with that title has to be good!

I read at night before I go to bed -- but I wish I could devote much more time to it than that. I love it!

If you want to share What's On Your Nightstand, visit 5 minutes for books.

Monday, July 28, 2008

7 things about me...

I was tagged for a 7 fact Meme by Busy Mamas.

Here are the rules:
  • List the rules on your blog.
  • Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.
  • Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
Here are my 7 facts:

1. I am really struggling right now with what I want to be "when I grow up" after my daughters are both in school full time. I still have a couple of years left -- but I'm someone who always likes to have a plan.

2. After being a stay-at-home mom for a couple of years, I became starved for adult interaction and I joined an on-line mom's group for my area. Now I am one of the organizers for the group and a few of the members are some of my greatest friends.

3. I absolutely adore chocolate -- in any form.

4. I have a strong dislike of bananas. I don't like to eat them, smell them or touch them. Because I know how good they are for you -- I thought that once I had children, I would have to hire a "Banana Nanny" to feed them to my kids for me. Instead, I just suck it up...the things you do for your children!

5. My guilty pleasure is Lifetime Network movies and Reality TV. Shhhhhhh

6. Any chance I get, I love to read chic lit novels. My favorite authors are Jane Green, Marian Keyes, Jennifer Weiner and I'm about to try out Jen Lancaster.

7. I turn 35 in September (feels like a big one to me). When I think about things, I am happy in all facets of my life except my weight -- so to attempt "total happiness" -- I've joined Weight Watchers and walk every morning to try to get those extra pounds off that are holding me down.

I am tagging: The Simple Wife, Karis Ramblings, The Dalai Mama, Tales from Oakbriar Farm, MaNIC MoMMy, Miss Elain-eous Life and Writing the Waves of Motherhood.

Friday, July 25, 2008


The other night at my "church meeting" (that's the easiest description), the topic was reconciliation. There, I learned that many others deal with more difficult "mistakes" carried out by themselves and others around them, that I seem to. Yet they are able to exude compassion and forgiveness. This reality makes coming to terms with my own small issues much easier.

We discussed a reading (Luke 15:11-32) about a man with two sons. The younger son squandered the man's possessions, lived recklessly and fled far away from his father. While the older son stayed and obeyed his father, worked hard and lived life as he should. When the younger son hit rock bottom, he returned to his father, who accepted him with open arms, flourished him with gifts and celebrated him. When the older son found this out, he was angry and resented the fact that he had honored his father this entire time and was never lavished, while his brother betrayed his father and was now rewarded. The father wished for him to rejoice in the fact that this lost son was now found.

I am definitely that older son. I really struggle with seeing people take other people or situations for granted and prospering from it. Instead of how I should feel as a Christian...content that these people are able to find someone or something to come to their aid. I've always been a firm believer in doing things for yourself, so instead, I find myself resentful. And that's my sin.

So today, I pray for patience and tolerance, and hopefully that will result in forgiveness for others' faults and my own.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

tour bus or bust...busted!

On Tuesday, I needed to go to the Mall to return something. While I was there, I thought I'd earn a few mom points and take the girls to this:

Chesterfield Mall
Hannah Montana Replica Tour Bus
Tuesday, July 22nd

I thought after I'm done with my business, we'll run by real quick. In and out. Home in plenty of time for lunch.


In line to see the tour bus, was about 500 other little girls. We waited in that line for about 45 minutes when my 3 year old was getting impatient and wanted to be held. Not. And my 5 year old (the reason for the waiting in the first place) decided she didn't care too much to see the bus. So, we moved on to wait in line for the Hannah hair dos and karaoke. Although not as long -- those lines proved to be just as slow.

Then, to make matters worse...rainfall. Momma insisted we go home. We were wet, we were hungry and any minute someone was going to have to pee...me!

I grabbed their hands and made a run for the car -- both of them in tears. What a mean mommy I was! I tried to explain to their sad faces that sometimes mommy had to make judgement calls that nobody liked for "our own good." They weren't buying it.

So... an attempt to earn mommy points turned into a couple of hours of wasted time and the feeling I needed to make something up to my kids. Fortunately, nothing a few cookies couldn't cure.

And all we got from all of our trouble was a couple of Hannah posters and this photo:

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

dinner chatter

Last night at dinnertime everyone else finished their meals and Peyton was still left at the table eating alone...again. She talks and talks and doesn't get the job done. Over and over, we had to tell her to finish up (or at least get started) before she could get down. With me sitting on the couch, Peyton didn't think I would know whether she was complying or not...

Barrett said: You know, Peyton, Mommy has eyes in the back of her head.

Peyton replied: Where are they? Stuck in her hair back there?

...whatever works!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Second week...a little weak

Only 1 pound down this week. It's amazing the damage pizza and few beers can do. Friday night, we went out to celebrate my friend Lori's 35th birthday (you know what a big one that is for us women) so I couldn't help but indulge in a little eat and drink. That, combined with the crispy chicken I felt I needed for "recovery" the next day, obviously did me in.

But, I know my faults. I know my weaknesses...and I'm not going to let it discourage me...this time. I'll just have to work extra hard THIS week. Wish me luck!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

meet you at the blog hop...

I'm Jen and I'm somewhat new to the blog world, and I've always thought that a party is a great way to meet people. Robing of http://pensieve.typepad.com/pensieve is hosting a Blog Hop party and anyone who's anyone will be there.

I am a stay-at-home mom of two little girls that keep me very busy. I love my morning walks, chic lit novels, I live for mom's night out and my guilty pleasure is lifetime network movies and reality TV. They are like a train wreck -- I can't look away. Maybe they make me feel more normal.

Anyway, I was in marketing/PR in my previous life (5 long years ago) and my blog was a small way back into writing. I'm enjoying it very much!

My contribution to the party is a super-easy recipe for White Sangria that my sister-in-law, Janelle, passed along. The problem is - it is so tasty, it goes down way too easy and before you know it - you're loopy! Enjoy...and I hope you'll come back.

All you need is 1/4 cup of brandy and 2 tablespoons of sugar (mix these two ingredients together first.) Then add 1 bottle of somewhat dry white wine (I use pinot grigio) and 2 cups of ginger ale. then drop in some frozen mixed fruit into the pitcher. Then let it set in the fridge for a couple of hours to soak up the fruit juice. Then serve, and serve and serve. Yum!

Friday, July 18, 2008

blue is the old black

This morning, I slept in an hour and the girls jumped in bed with me to watch cartoons. Daddy scanned the channels and gave them their animation choices: Pinky Dinky Doo, Mickey Mouse Club or The Smurfs. The girls were intrigued. What is The Smurfs? Once they found out it was a cartoon that Mom and Dad favored in their youth, it was the winner.

What a blast from the past! I had forgotten about those little blue creatures living in the little mushroom village with all their different personalities and talents. The only thing they all seem to have in common was their need to join forces against the evil Gargamel and his follower cat Azrael who were always plotting revenge against those poor innocent smurflings.

I laughed to myself as each character appeared on the screen, for each smurf persona seemed to remind me of traits of women I come across in my own life. You will probably agree. Think about it as you meet them:

There was Handy, the smurf who can do and fix anything. Jokey who lives for playing tricks on others. Hefty smurf who can play any sport and is know by his little heart tattoo. Cook smurf who is always making delicious treats to share. Greedy smurf who was always there to gobble them up. Grouchy smurf who disagrees with everything and everyone. Brainy, with his big thick glasses, walking around with his big book reciting rules all the time. Lazy smurf who can fall asleep just about anywhere, Poet smurf who's always looking for inspiration. Harmony smurf who loves music but can't carry a tune to save his life. Farmer smurf with the foul mouth who enjoys the simpler things. Vanity smurf with his mirror who is always obsessed about his appearance. Smurfette who is the definition of femininity. And of course, Papa smurf, the wise and all-knowing leader.

Did you find someone you know in there?

When I decided this for a topic today I pulled up the Smurfs website, http://www.smurfs.com/, and found that this year is actually the Smurfs 50th Anniversary. What a coincidence. Happy Anniversary, little blue buddies. It's great to see you again! La La La La La La...La La La La La...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

what are we waiting for?

Do you ever feel like all you do is wait? Waiting for one thing to happen before something else can?

Waiting for my kids to get older before thinking about what I want to "be" when I grow up. Waiting to be the right size before feeling good about my physical appearance. Waiting for a slow week to take an evening out with my husband to avoid the guilt of doing too much away from the kids. Waiting for my 3 year old to go down for a nap to relax and do something I enjoy. Waiting for my house to be spotless before I plan to have friends over to see it. Waiting to purchase something I am really wanting until we have more money stashed away. Waiting to start a project at home like organizing, decorating or scrap booking until there's a big block of time to get it done. Waiting to take a trip until it's a better time. When is a better time? Really, when is a better time??

Who wants to spend a lifetime on waiting? If I keep waiting, these things I wish for, may never come. Life is short. We all know that. So today I am resolving to do more doing than waiting. You with me?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

i've got it maid!

I've had this part of a poem recited to me many a time:

So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

When I hear that, the only thing that comes to my mind is...seriously, how long you gonna leave those cobwebs laying around?

I like a clean house...no I LOVE a clean house. It makes me happy. It is essential to my sanity. As a matter of fact, I didn't realize that I was a "clean freak" until I started really comparing myself to the people around me.

That being said...I have hired a cleaning person. Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom but I don't want to spend every minute cleaning that home in order to get it the way I like it. A clean house is so important to me, that before I hired someone to clean the kitchen and the bathrooms every couple of weeks, I was skipping out on fun activities with my daughters to get it done. And the whole point of staying home with my kids is to be there for them and accumulate quality time and memories. Right?

I would find myself wanting to go somewhere fun or play a game with the girls with a mess staring me in the face, so I would feel I had to do the cleaning first, and the fun never came. I also like to organize, so there would be things that I would love to spend some time getting in order -- but would feel I should scrub the tubs and toilets or mop the kitchen floor first. So the things I WANTED to tidy up, never got the attention.

So now I do the simple day-to-day clean-up myself - vacuuming, dusting, windexing - that's the easy stuff in my book. And I leave the mopping, shower scrubbing, toilet cleaning and stove polishing to the professionals. Because those are the chores I hated. I'll gladly give up those duties to go to the zoo, play memory for the zillionth time or read story books to the kids.

I realize how very lucky I am to be able to shell out some cash to get things done that most people believe I should be doing myself. But you'd be surprised how many other stay-at-home moms do the the same thing for the same reasons. So I'm done feeling guilty about it. And I'm shouting it loud and proud...I'M A STAY-AT-HOME MOM THAT PAYS SOMEONE TO HELP ME KEEP MY HOUSE CLEAN! So what. I am happier...my kids are happier...and my house is happier. And that's what matters.

Now I just need to find a chef, a chauffeur, a laundry-folder, a bed-maker and someone to follow the girls around picking up toys all day. Know anybody?

Monday, July 14, 2008

one week in...

All of this "points counting" has been quite an eye-opening experience. Eye-opening to how many "points" I must have been eating before I started this whole Weight Watchers thing. If the number that has been assigned to me by the system is what is normal for acquiring a healthy weight -- I know why I'm not one. After spending a week doing this, I can now clearly see my goals here are 1) to learn not to eat my meals like they are my last, 2) Not to be so dependent on food-eating for all social functions, 3) that I don't have to accept every treat that is offered to me. It's time to keep my eye on the prize!

I had a decent, yet hungry week. I am allotted 23 points a day, plus I usually earn 2 more because I walk 30 minutes every morning before the girls get up. I was able to stick to that limit -- but it was tough! Weight Watchers also allows you an extra 35 points that you can use throughout your week on eating out or special treats. I pretty much stayed away from those all week, knowing I should probably save them up for the weekend. Sunday evening we went to a birthday party. I had a a great dinner, a glass of wine and a piece of cake...points taken! It's as easy as that.

Hopefully this week will go as well.

4-1/2 pounds down.

Friday, July 11, 2008

do you see what I see?

Isn't body image a crazy thing? It is so weird...I could be in the company of two women, who are virtually the same amount of thin, and one is telling the other "you are so skinny!" What is SHE seeing when she looks in the mirror? Do we all think that we look a lot worse than we really do? Maybe when people look at me they see a perfectly fit goddess who looks great in all her clothes, rather than the reflection of the frumpy chic who can't find anything to wear that I see. NOT!

I can dream, can't I?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

make it sparkle!

Jen from http://www.absolutelybananas.com/ is asking for for housekeeping tips. My # 1 tip would be these:
Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. I keep a container of them in practically every room. One in each bathroom, the kitchen and the laundry room. These are my best weapon against dirt!
  • To keep my bathrooms fresh and clean, every morning after I do my thing (shower/wash-up, brush teeth and such), I do a quick wipe down of the sinks, counters and commode to rid the hairspray stickies, toothpaste dots and remnants of hubby's bad aim. This simple 2 minute chore keeps things from ever getting really nasty.
  • To keep the shower clean and mildew-free, I hang one of those Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaners. All it takes is a press of a button after showering.
  • In the kitchen...same deal, I try to wipe down counters and the stove top constantly. Although this can be a pain in the rump -- it beats waiting until the filth really accumulates and the spills take too much elbow grease to remove.
  • In the laundry room, I use my Clorox wipes again to rid the washing machine and dryer of lint and detergent spills.
  • In our living area, I reduce clutter by taking things that belong upstairs with me each trip I make up there. I stack things on the steps until I'm ready, so that I don't forget them. I also keep toy clutter at bay by making sure my girls put one thing away before getting out another. This really helps! And if you do this enough -- it really sinks in.
  • The only room that doesn't stay as de-cluttered as I'd like is the upstairs playroom. Sometimes it just isn't worth organizing just to have it torn apart again. What are ya gonna do? I'll tell you what I do...CLOSE THE DOOR. Out of sight, out of mind.
That's all I have for now. Good luck and happy housekeeping!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


I don't know if it is the time of the month or if it is all the watching what I eat -- but the last couple of day I have been a major crab. I'm uncomfortable all the time (probably due to the rumble in my tummy), I feel very antsy (probably due to sweets withdrawal) and I have a very short fuse (that may be due to the fact that all my kids have been doing is whining). I am hoping this is a short-lived phase (because I don't even want to live with me) and everything balances out again soon. Sadly, I already hate "POINTS!"

P.S. However, I did cheat and sneak a peek at the scale this morning and I'm already down 3 pounds. We'll see if they stay off for Monday's weigh-in.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

get it together

There are actually people out there that are actively steering toward their futures instead of sitting in a parked car. There are people who absolutely enjoy their careers and are content with their daily routines. There are people out there continuing their education in order to better their brains and prepare themselves in the fields that they have chosen. There are people who stay home with their kids, and do it so well that they are fulfilled with that position for as far as they can see into the future. There are people out there that have found the perfect part-time supplement that allows them to have the best of both worlds and balance work and home. Why can't I be one of these people? Oh yeah...because I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up!

Monday, July 7, 2008

what's the skinny...

What's with all the thin people all around me? They walk around wearing anything they want. Whatever the fashion trend of the moment, they can pull it off without a hitch. They don't have to try on a million styles and sizes to find something fitting to wear in public or for a special occasion. As a matter of fact, they probably don't have to try on their clothes at all. Can you imagine bypassing the hassle of fitting rooms altogether?

And...who do these skinny people think they are walking around with all that confidence and self worth? Spending their existence thinking of other things in life than whether people are giving them disapproving glances and stares. Able to concentrate on things that make them happy in life rather than how much they weigh. Not experiencing dread each time they look in the mirror. Not worrying about every bulge, every bunch. I mean, who wants to live like that?

I do, that's who.

P.S. I joined weight watchers today.

Friday, July 4, 2008

because I said so...

Lately this seems to be the perfect answer for every "why" that my 5 and 3 year old daughters throw at me. "Why can't I have fruit snacks for breakfast?" "Why can't I stay up all night?" "Why do I have to be nice to my sister?" ...Because I said so, is all it takes sometimes. Any other complicated answer I may give to these questions and more would most likely result in more whys. "Because I said so" is simple. It works. And I'm using it until it doesn't anymore!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

the wee hours

My eyes spring open. I squint toward the clock...6 a.m. I hear something. What is that sound? It's silence. It's peace and quiet. It lures me from my bed. There is no blaring television. There is no toddlers asking "why". There are no questions, no orders, no demands. At this moment, no one needs my attention. No one but me.

I can take a walk. I can notice things in nature that I am oblivious to throughout my busy day. I can sit and enjoy a cup of coffee, lost in thought without disruption. I can write those thoughts down by the dim orange light of day break. I can spare a moment for prayer to thank the Lord for all the wonderful blessings in my life. I can do whatever I want to do.

The rest of the hours of my day seem to belong to someone or something else: My children, my husband, my friends, my chores and Mr. Sandman claims what's left. But now that I have forced myself to become an early riser, the wee hours of the morning are mine, and only mine. The rest of my world is sleeping.

The times that I am unable to tear myself from the sheets before something or someone insists that I do -- I spend my day feeling that something is missing. That something was stolen from me. Sometimes I'm not quite sure what has thrown me off my game...or has caused this imbalance. Then I remember that I didn't get my wee hours to myself before distributing the parts of me out to everyone else. And I am certain that I don't want that to happen again.

Pardon me while I go set my alarm.