no baby fever!

I have 2 daughters. The youngest one recently turned three. Over the past month or so, for some reason, I have been questioned many, many times whether we will be extending our family any further (maybe because my youngest has reached a nice milestone age, or because I'm about to reach a not-so-nice one). A lot of..."Are you considering a third?", "When are you having another?", "Don't all these infants around give you baby fever?" No. Not. No.

I feel very done with the baby stage. I haven't the smallest desire to return to pregnancy, nursing, sleepless nights or checking for breathing. Is that so wrong? I did my time and I'm happy to move on. Now...if it was possible to pop one out at a ripe old age of 6 to 12 months...I'm quite certain I would reconsider, but since that's not happening, I feel my two are plenty. Don't get me wrong, I do love babies. I like to look at them, goo-goo-ga-ga at them, maybe hold them for a minute -- and return them to mommy.

I must state that if a #3 came along by accident...I would see it as God's plan and go with it, of course. Babies are a wonderful miracle. I'm just saying, it's not a part of MY plan. I prefer to now focus and be involved with the events to come with the two I have. The exciting endeavors that are Kindergarten for my oldest and the newness of preschool for my youngest AND the fact that I will obtain 3 mornings a week to do with what I wish...ALONE. I can't imagine the possibilities!

wordless wednesday...

what's on your nightstand?

5 minutes for books is hosting a new monthly carnival called What's On Your Nightstand?, where we have a chance to talk about what we are currently reading.

I am a few chapters away from finishing My Best Friend's Girl by Dororthy Koomson. It is a novel that focuses on the question "how for would you go for the best friend that broke your heart?" It has been a great read, and I can't wait to find out how it ends.















Next I will be diving into a memoir by Jen Lancaster for a Book Club I belong to. Reading up on Lancaster, I think she is going to prove to be very funny, and funny I like. The name of the book is...are you ready for this...Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a condescending, egomaniacal, self-centered smart-ass, or why you should never carry a Prada Bag to the unemployment office. A book with that title has to be good!

I read at night before I go to bed -- but I wish I could devote much more time to it than that. I love it!

If you want to share What's On Your Nightstand, visit 5 minutes for books.

7 things about me...

I was tagged for a 7 fact Meme by Busy Mamas.

Here are the rules:

• List the rules on your blog.
• Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.
• Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

Here are my 7 facts:

1. I am really struggling right now with what I want to be "when I grow up" after my daughters are both in school full time. I still have a couple of years left -- but I'm someone who always likes to have a plan.

2. After being a stay-at-home mom for a couple of years, I became starved for adult interaction and I joined an on-line mom's group for my area. Now I am one of the organizers for the group and a few of the members are some of my greatest friends.

3. I absolutely adore chocolate -- in any form.

4. I have a strong dislike of bananas. I don't like to eat them, smell them or touch them. Because I know how good they are for you -- I thought that once I had children, I would have to hire a "Banana Nanny" to feed them to my kids for me. Instead, I just suck it up...the things you do for your children!

5. My guilty pleasure is Lifetime Network movies and Reality TV. Shhhhhhh

6. Any chance I get, I love to read chic lit novels. My favorite authors are Jane Green, Marian Keyes, Jennifer Weiner and I'm about to try out Jen Lancaster.

7. I turn 35 in September (feels like a big one to me). When I think about things, I am happy in all facets of my life except my weight -- so to attempt "total happiness" -- I've joined Weight Watchers and walk every morning to try to get those extra pounds off that are holding me down.

I am tagging: The Simple Wife, Karis Ramblings, The Dalai Mama, Tales from Oakbriar Farm, MaNIC MoMMy, Miss Elain-eous Life and Writing the Waves of Motherhood.

absolution!

The other night at my "church meeting" (that's the easiest description), the topic was reconciliation. There, I learned that many others deal with more difficult "mistakes" carried out by themselves and others around them, that I seem to. Yet they are able to exude compassion and forgiveness. This reality makes coming to terms with my own small issues much easier.

We discussed a reading (Luke 15:11-32) about a man with two sons. The younger son squandered the man's possessions, lived recklessly and fled far away from his father. While the older son stayed and obeyed his father, worked hard and lived life as he should. When the younger son hit rock bottom, he returned to his father, who accepted him with open arms, flourished him with gifts and celebrated him. When the older son found this out, he was angry and resented the fact that he had honored his father this entire time and was never lavished, while his brother betrayed his father and was now rewarded. The father wished for him to rejoice in the fact that this lost son was now found.

I am definitely that older son. I really struggle with seeing people take other people or situations for granted and prospering from it. Instead of how I should feel as a Christian...content that these people are able to find someone or something to come to their aid. I've always been a firm believer in doing things for yourself, so instead, I find myself resentful. And that's my sin.

So today, I pray for patience and tolerance, and hopefully that will result in forgiveness for others' faults and my own.

tour bus or bust...busted!

On Tuesday, I needed to go to the Mall to return something. While I was there, I thought I'd earn a few mom points and take the girls to this:

Chesterfield Mall

Hannah Montana Replica Tour Bus

Tuesday, July 22nd

12pm-5pm

I thought after I'm done with my business, we'll run by real quick. In and out. Home in plenty of time for lunch.

Wrong!

In line to see the tour bus, was about 500 other little girls. We waited in that line for about 45 minutes when my 3 year old was getting impatient and wanted to be held. Not. And my 5 year old (the reason for the waiting in the first place) decided she didn't care too much to see the bus. So, we moved on to wait in line for the Hannah hair dos and karaoke. Although not as long -- those lines proved to be just as slow.

Then, to make matters worse...rainfall. Momma insisted we go home. We were wet, we were hungry and any minute someone was going to have to pee...me!

I grabbed their hands and made a run for the car -- both of them in tears. What a mean mommy I was! I tried to explain to their sad faces that sometimes mommy had to make judgement calls that nobody liked for "our own good." They weren't buying it.

So... an attempt to earn mommy points turned into a couple of hours of wasted time and the feeling I needed to make something up to my kids. Fortunately, nothing a few cookies couldn't cure.

And all we got from all of our trouble was a couple of Hannah posters and this photo:

wordless wednesday - fun house mirror

dinner chatter

Last night at dinnertime everyone else finished their meals and Peyton was still left at the table eating alone...again. She talks and talks and doesn't get the job done. Over and over, we had to tell her to finish up (or at least get started) before she could get down. With me sitting on the couch, Peyton didn't think I would know whether she was complying or not...

Barrett said: You know, Peyton, Mommy has eyes in the back of her head.

Peyton replied: Where are they? Stuck in her hair back there?

...whatever works!

Second week...a little weak

Only 1 pound down this week. It's amazing the damage pizza and few beers can do. Friday night, we went out to celebrate my friend Lori's 35th birthday (you know what a big one that is for us women) so I couldn't help but indulge in a little eat and drink. That, combined with the crispy chicken I felt I needed for "recovery" the next day, obviously did me in.

But, I know my faults. I know my weaknesses...and I'm not going to let it discourage me...this time. I'll just have to work extra hard THIS week. Wish me luck!

meet you at the blog hop...

I'm Jen and I'm somewhat new to the blog world, and I've always thought that a party is a great way to meet people. Robing of http://pensieve.typepad.com/pensieve is hosting a Blog Hop party and anyone who's anyone will be there.

I am a stay-at-home mom of two little girls that keep me very busy. I love my morning walks, chic lit novels, I live for mom's night out and my guilty pleasure is lifetime network movies and reality TV. They are like a train wreck -- I can't look away. Maybe they make me feel more normal.

Anyway, I was in marketing/PR in my previous life (5 long years ago) and my blog was a small way back into writing. I'm enjoying it very much!

My contribution to the party is a super-easy recipe for White Sangria that my sister-in-law, Janelle, passed along. The problem is - it is so tasty, it goes down way too easy and before you know it - you're loopy! Enjoy...and I hope you'll come back.

All you need is 1/4 cup of brandy and 2 tablespoons of sugar (mix these two ingredients together first.) Then add 1 bottle of somewhat dry white wine (I use pinot grigio) and 2 cups of ginger ale. then drop in some frozen mixed fruit into the pitcher. Then let it set in the fridge for a couple of hours to soak up the fruit juice. Then serve, and serve and serve. Yum!

blue is the old black

This morning, I slept in an hour and the girls jumped in bed with me to watch cartoons. Daddy scanned the channels and gave them their animation choices: Pinky Dinky Doo, Mickey Mouse Club or The Smurfs. The girls were intrigued. What is The Smurfs? Once they found out it was a cartoon that Mom and Dad favored in their youth, it was the winner.

What a blast from the past! I had forgotten about those little blue creatures living in the little mushroom village with all their different personalities and talents. The only thing they all seem to have in common was their need to join forces against the evil Gargamel and his follower cat Azrael who were always plotting revenge against those poor innocent smurflings.

I laughed to myself as each character appeared on the screen, for each smurf persona seemed to remind me of traits of women I come across in my own life. You will probably agree. Think about it as you meet them:

There was Handy, the smurf who can do and fix anything. Jokey who lives for playing tricks on others. Hefty smurf who can play any sport and is know by his little heart tattoo. Cook smurf who is always making delicious treats to share. Greedy smurf who was always there to gobble them up. Grouchy smurf who disagrees with everything and everyone. Brainy, with his big thick glasses, walking around with his big book reciting rules all the time. Lazy smurf who can fall asleep just about anywhere, Poet smurf who's always looking for inspiration. Harmony smurf who loves music but can't carry a tune to save his life. Farmer smurf with the foul mouth who enjoys the simpler things. Vanity smurf with his mirror who is always obsessed about his appearance. Smurfette who is the definition of femininity. And of course, Papa smurf, the wise and all-knowing leader.

Did you find someone you know in there?

When I decided this for a topic today I pulled up the Smurfs website, http://www.smurfs.com/, and found that this year is actually the Smurfs 50th Anniversary. What a coincidence. Happy Anniversary, little blue buddies. It's great to see you again! La La La La La La...La La La La La...

what are we waiting for?

Do you ever feel like all you do is wait? Waiting for one thing to happen before something else can?

Waiting for my kids to get older before thinking about what I want to "be" when I grow up. Waiting to be the right size before feeling good about my physical appearance. Waiting for a slow week to take an evening out with my husband to avoid the guilt of doing too much away from the kids. Waiting for my 3 year old to go down for a nap to relax and do something I enjoy. Waiting for my house to be spotless before I plan to have friends over to see it. Waiting to purchase something I am really wanting until we have more money stashed away. Waiting to start a project at home like organizing, decorating or scrap booking until there's a big block of time to get it done. Waiting to take a trip until it's a better time. When is a better time? Really, when is a better time??

Who wants to spend a lifetime on waiting? If I keep waiting, these things I wish for, may never come. Life is short. We all know that. So today I am resolving to do more doing than waiting. You with me?

wordless wednesday...

i've got it maid!

I've had this part of a poem recited to me many a time:

So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

When I hear that, the only thing that comes to my mind is...seriously, how long you gonna leave those cobwebs laying around?

I like a clean house...no I LOVE a clean house. It makes me happy. It is essential to my sanity. As a matter of fact, I didn't realize that I was a "clean freak" until I started really comparing myself to the people around me.

That being said...I have hired a cleaning person. Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom but I don't want to spend every minute cleaning that home in order to get it the way I like it. A clean house is so important to me, that before I hired someone to clean the kitchen and the bathrooms every couple of weeks, I was skipping out on fun activities with my daughters to get it done. And the whole point of staying home with my kids is to be there for them and accumulate quality time and memories. Right?

I would find myself wanting to go somewhere fun or play a game with the girls with a mess staring me in the face, so I would feel I had to do the cleaning first, and the fun never came. I also like to organize, so there would be things that I would love to spend some time getting in order -- but would feel I should scrub the tubs and toilets or mop the kitchen floor first. So the things I WANTED to tidy up, never got the attention.

So now I do the simple day-to-day clean-up myself - vacuuming, dusting, windexing - that's the easy stuff in my book. And I leave the mopping, shower scrubbing, toilet cleaning and stove polishing to the professionals. Because those are the chores I hated. I'll gladly give up those duties to go to the zoo, play memory for the zillionth time or read story books to the kids.

I realize how very lucky I am to be able to shell out some cash to get things done that most people believe I should be doing myself. But you'd be surprised how many other stay-at-home moms do the the same thing for the same reasons. So I'm done feeling guilty about it. And I'm shouting it loud and proud...I'M A STAY-AT-HOME MOM THAT PAYS SOMEONE TO HELP ME KEEP MY HOUSE CLEAN! So what. I am happier...my kids are happier...and my house is happier. And that's what matters.

Now I just need to find a chef, a chauffeur, a laundry-folder, a bed-maker and someone to follow the girls around picking up toys all day. Know anybody?

one week in...

All of this "points counting" has been quite an eye-opening experience. Eye-opening to how many "points" I must have been eating before I started this whole Weight Watchers thing. If the number that has been assigned to me by the system is what is normal for acquiring a healthy weight -- I know why I'm not one. After spending a week doing this, I can now clearly see my goals here are 1) to learn not to eat my meals like they are my last, 2) Not to be so dependent on food-eating for all social functions, 3) that I don't have to accept every treat that is offered to me. It's time to keep my eye on the prize!

I had a decent, yet hungry week. I am allotted 23 points a day, plus I usually earn 2 more because I walk 30 minutes every morning before the girls get up. I was able to stick to that limit -- but it was tough! Weight Watchers also allows you an extra 35 points that you can use throughout your week on eating out or special treats. I pretty much stayed away from those all week, knowing I should probably save them up for the weekend. Sunday evening we went to a birthday party. I had a a great dinner, a glass of wine and a piece of cake...points taken! It's as easy as that.

Hopefully this week will go as well.

4-1/2 pounds down.

do you see what I see?

Isn't body image a crazy thing? It is so weird...I could be in the company of two women, who are virtually the same amount of thin, and one is telling the other "you are so skinny!" What is SHE seeing when she looks in the mirror? Do we all think that we look a lot worse than we really do? Maybe when people look at me they see a perfectly fit goddess who looks great in all her clothes, rather than the reflection of the frumpy chic who can't find anything to wear that I see. NOT!

I can dream, can't I?

make it sparkle!

Jen from http://www.absolutelybananas.com/ is asking for for housekeeping tips. My # 1 tip would be these:

Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. I keep a container of them in practically every room. One in each bathroom, the kitchen and the laundry room. These are my best weapon against dirt!

• To keep my bathrooms fresh and clean, every morning after I do my thing (shower/wash-up, brush teeth and such), I do a quick wipe down of the sinks, counters and commode to rid the hairspray stickies, toothpaste dots and remnants of hubby's bad aim. This simple 2 minute chore keeps things from ever getting really nasty.

• To keep the shower clean and mildew-free, I hang one of those Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaners. All it takes is a press of a button after showering.

• In the kitchen...same deal, I try to wipe down counters and the stove top constantly. Although this can be a pain in the rump -- it beats waiting until the filth really accumulates and the spills take too much elbow grease to remove.

• In the laundry room, I use my Clorox wipes again to rid the washing machine and dryer of lint and detergent spills.

• In our living area, I reduce clutter by taking things that belong upstairs with me each trip I make up there. I stack things on the steps until I'm ready, so that I don't forget them. I also keep toy clutter at bay by making sure my girls put one thing away before getting out another. This really helps! And if you do this enough -- it really sinks in.

• The only room that doesn't stay as de-cluttered as I'd like is the upstairs playroom. Sometimes it just isn't worth organizing just to have it torn apart again. What are ya gonna do? I'll tell you what I do...CLOSE THE DOOR. Out of sight, out of mind.

That's all I have for now. Good luck and happy housekeeping!

crabby

I don't know if it is the time of the month or if it is all the watching what I eat -- but the last couple of day I have been a major crab. I'm uncomfortable all the time (probably due to the rumble in my tummy), I feel very antsy (probably due to sweets withdrawal) and I have a very short fuse (that may be due to the fact that all my kids have been doing is whining). I am hoping this is a short-lived phase (because I don't even want to live with me) and everything balances out again soon. Sadly, I already hate "POINTS!"

P.S. However, I did cheat and sneak a peek at the scale this morning and I'm already down 3 pounds. We'll see if they stay off for Monday's weigh-in.

get it together

There are actually people out there that are actively steering toward their futures instead of sitting in a parked car. There are people who absolutely enjoy their careers and are content with their daily routines. There are people out there continuing their education in order to better their brains and prepare themselves in the fields that they have chosen. There are people who stay home with their kids, and do it so well that they are fulfilled with that position for as far as they can see into the future. There are people out there that have found the perfect part-time supplement that allows them to have the best of both worlds and balance work and home. Why can't I be one of these people? Oh yeah...because I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up!

what's the skinny...

What's with all the thin people all around me? They walk around wearing anything they want. Whatever the fashion trend of the moment, they can pull it off without a hitch. They don't have to try on a million styles and sizes to find something fitting to wear in public or for a special occasion. As a matter of fact, they probably don't have to try on their clothes at all. Can you imagine bypassing the hassle of fitting rooms altogether?

And...who do these skinny people think they are walking around with all that confidence and self worth? Spending their existence thinking of other things in life than whether people are giving them disapproving glances and stares. Able to concentrate on things that make them happy in life rather than how much they weigh. Not experiencing dread each time they look in the mirror. Not worrying about every bulge, every bunch. I mean, who wants to live like that?

I do, that's who.

P.S. I joined weight watchers today.

because I said so...

Lately this seems to be the perfect answer for every "why" that my 5 and 3 year old daughters throw at me. "Why can't I have fruit snacks for breakfast?" "Why can't I stay up all night?" "Why do I have to be nice to my sister?" ...Because I said so, is all it takes sometimes. Any other complicated answer I may give to these questions and more would most likely result in more whys. "Because I said so" is simple. It works. And I'm using it until it doesn't anymore!

the wee hours

My eyes spring open. I squint toward the clock...6 a.m. I hear something. What is that sound? It's silence. It's peace and quiet. It lures me from my bed. There is no blaring television. There is no toddlers asking "why". There are no questions, no orders, no demands. At this moment, no one needs my attention. No one but me.

I can take a walk. I can notice things in nature that I am oblivious to throughout my busy day. I can sit and enjoy a cup of coffee, lost in thought without disruption. I can write those thoughts down by the dim orange light of day break. I can spare a moment for prayer to thank the Lord for all the wonderful blessings in my life. I can do whatever I want to do.

The rest of the hours of my day seem to belong to someone or something else: My children, my husband, my friends, my chores and Mr. Sandman claims what's left. But now that I have forced myself to become an early riser, the wee hours of the morning are mine, and only mine. The rest of my world is sleeping.

The times that I am unable to tear myself from the sheets before something or someone insists that I do -- I spend my day feeling that something is missing. That something was stolen from me. Sometimes I'm not quite sure what has thrown me off my game...or has caused this imbalance. Then I remember that I didn't get my wee hours to myself before distributing the parts of me out to everyone else. And I am certain that I don't want that to happen again.

Pardon me while I go set my alarm.