taking care of me...

In anticipation of going back to school, for the last month, I have let my exercise routine fly out the window. Because I was spending time away from my family for class and feeling a little more disconnected from my family when I was studying...I was feeling like I had to let go of different facets of my "me" time to make up for it.

This has been a mistake. I need to fit it back in. When I don't take the time to exercise, not only do I notice a little extra pudge where I don't want it, I also just don't feel good about myself. It effects the other ares of of my life.

So I started back this morning with a long brisk walk. As I walked I realized how much I was missing that activity to better myself physically...but also was reminded of how good those walks do me mentally. It is the one place I can think with out interruptions...no kids pulling, no people talking, no phones ringing, no chores calling. It is the ultimate me time... and I need it to function at my highest potential!

don't go!

Separation anxiety is a nasty thing. I've looked up the best ways to deal with it a million times. I have yet to find the perfect solution.

My six year old, especially in times of change, goes through some major separation sadness. It starts shortly before the separation will occur and gets worse when it is time to say goodbye. I try to talk her through it. I try to distract her from it. It is always heartbreaking to see the tears as she walks into school or as I have to walk out the door to be where I need to be.

The separation is necessary. She has to go to school and so do I -- but I feel so much guilt that she is hurting this way. When her tears start, I try to stay positive, make light of the situation, and I don't prolong goodbyes. But once I have left the situation, I fall apart as much as she has. I want to make her feel better -- but I want to toughen her up at the same time. I want to decrease the time that this sadness occurs -- but I also know that the more it happens, the more desensitized she will become. I feel bad that the time we spend together has decreased, but I also see that now the time we DO spend together is better quality.

I hate that her friends and teachers see her cry on such a regular basis -- I know it has to be embarrassing to my daughter. Who wants to be known as the crier? I am only comforted by the thought that her first grade friends will possibly not remember this bout of sadness weeks from now -- and hopefully my child will not either. I guess only time will tell.

2 sides to every story...

I started back to college this week as a graduate student for my teaching certification and masters in teaching. It has been quite a big adjustment and I have kind of been battling it in a pros and cons kind of manner...

Decreased time at home
con: feeling guilty about less time for housework and playtime
pro: being more productive with the time I DO have at home

I'm ONE of the eldest in the classroom
con: feeling a little "old" right now
pro: I have life experience that some of them don't

A lot of the students in my class are already teachers
con: they have "one up" on me in the classroom
pro: I can learn from their experience

Taking 3 classes is going to be a lot of work and a lot of reading
con: getting back into the swing of studying is tough
pro: I feel like I'm really doing something productive with my time (instead of TV watching and internet surfing)

Regardless of the cons, I am really excited about this new endeavor and I'll be enjoying the challenges and the journey!